I Can See For Miles Around

That's the infamous Keith. I know! After that last post about him, I wasn't sure that we would be on speaking terms ever again, let alone friends.

It's really funny how things work out. Forgiveness is a strange thing. And really, it was a mistake on his part, and he really is a sweet guy. What can I say? It wasn't that hard to forgive.

That picture was taken, we believe (we can't find where we stopped on the map exactly) in Saint Simeon. It was on our way to Perce Roche, Quebec. About 3 hours drive from the city. A great drive along the Gaspe coast, with the sun bright for most of the trip. It was a bit cloudy around Bonaventure, but after a few little rain bursts, we were in the clear. The view the entire way was spectactular. You could see clear across the bay and beyond. At one point all you could see on the horizon was water, and it seemed as if the edge of the world was close.

Perce was absolutely beautiful. It's funny how a great big rock with a hole in it you could drive a boat through would bring people so much joy and pleasure. The tourist shops were overpriced for the most part, but enjoyable. I ended up getting this nifty little beatle with a pinky/green metallic back encased in a plastic stone that was then put on a bracelet. Almost didn't buy it though, because the shoppe was selling animal pelts. Just...random pieces of furr for no apparent reason other than "we can". I know what you're thinking, I have a beatle in my bracelet. But the bug is a bug, and they used the WHOLE bug. I have a huge problem with people hunting just for a pelt, or a horn or antlers. If a hunter can make use of the whole animal, and not just killing for pleasure, I'm alright with that. And I am in NO WAY in support of hunting endangered creatures such as the Wolf. I love the Wolf, he is my bretheren. My totem if you will.

Keith and I have been spending a great deal of time together since he got back from Ontario. Things didn't work out with Mandi, and he seems alright with the way it turned out now. He was a bit of a wreck when he returned home, but that's to be expected.

Last week was my last vacation, I had Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday off. So, Friday we went to Bathurst to go shopping, have Chinese and then back to the city to play games with Craig and Brandy. They really seem to enjoy his company, which is nice, since it means all four of us can play cards or games, etc. That Saturday, we went back out to Craig and Brandy's (Craig wanted to know if we were coming out, so Brandy and I know that he liked Keith) for more games. Sunday we caught Talladaga Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby in the city. HILARIOUS! Check it out, it was fun. Monday passed with little happening. I did housework, laundry, drove the car.

OH! The car. I got a new car. 1997 Mitsubishi Galant, Standard Transmission. Still having a bit of a time to drive it. Damn clutch. Damn hills. I still roll backwards and am avoiding town like the Black Plague.

My parents have moved to town, a few doors down from my Grandparents. At first I wasn't really sure how I felt about that. But now I am excited, since it means I'll see them for holidays, and I'll get to spend some time with them. Call me a goody-goody, but I love my parents very much.


Back to Keith...I'm so bad for getting off topic.


I'm not sure how I feel about him. It's not the same as I've felt about other guys before. I can't put my finger on it. With Randy and Craig (not Brandy's Craig) it was a palpable feeling. Probably more lustfull than anything. I don't get that with Keith. But it's not like with Nick either, where try as I might I wasn't attracted to him at all. Maybe it's somewhere in the middle, with some attraction, and a joy of his company. I love spending time with him, he's so much fun.

Last night I sort of made a mistake. We were sitting in his car, talking, and I saw Craig driving around and I made the comment "What's he doing out so late alone?" since he never goes anywhere that late without his girlfriend. Keith's answer was "He's an idiot, how do you know him?" I was honest about it, which he didn't want to hear (according to his journal). I feel a bit bad about it, but I won't lie to him. It's not a way to start things. I can't pretend that I didn't know guys before Keith came into my life.

So that's what's going on so far.

My Heart Knows Me Better

Abby and I like to listen to that song "Ridin' (Dirty)" by Chamillionarie feat. Krazee Bone (or however you spell their names), even though as two white girls we really can't relate to the song at all. Have you heard it? The song's about a guy who's always being hounded by the cops as they try to catch him doing something illegal in his nice car with his loud music.

Anyways, we took this picture goofing around one day before we took a drive. It all started a week or so before on our way to the beach when I was being the dork that I am, and I did the "homie pose" while that rap song was playing on the stereo. Abby thought that was hilarious but her phone was dead and I'd left my camera at home. We're can be silly.

But I think the good times are on their way down. Sadly. I don't know what's going on with Abby anymore. I call her to see if she wants to hang out and she says "I'm tired" and because she's my best friend, I believe her. Why wouldn't I? Ah, I know that's naive, isn't it? See, my problem is that even though I may seem bitter and jaded, I really do have a soft heart and I'd like to trust more people a lot easier than I do.

Okay, so here's what's been eating me about the whole Abby relationship.

Thursday I asked Cameron to get Abby to call me. I can't remember why I stopped over there. Maybe it was to get something to eat, and popped in as I was walking by. Anyways, Abby wasn't around. Cameron said she was "out with the kids" and that had me puzzled since she doesn't have kids. Apparently, she was out with Lisa (the wife of Cameron's tech Jody) and her kids at the waterpark. I was shocked, and I'm not exaggerating, I was SHOCKED when Abby actually called me back. It was a rather short conversation and it was a "what do you want?" Sort of call, but okay, at least she called me back. When I had her on the phone I asked her if she wanted to do something this weekend with me. I didn't really know what, and I didn't care to be honest. Cards, movie, bake something...anything. I just hadn't spent any real amount of time with Abby in ages. She said to me "We'll see how I feel." and I thought maybe she was sick or had her girl flu but she just meant "We'll see how tired I feel." So, I suggest she call me up on Saturday and we'd see. She agreed.

It's 3ish on Saturday and I'm done cleaning the apartment when I realize that I haven't heard from Abby yet, so, while out to take the garbage to the dumpster, I walk down to Cameron's store and pop in to see if she if she's up to something. I don't see Abby, but Cameron is upstairs, so I ask if she's around. "Nope, she went to the pow-wow across the river with Lisa." Oh. I'll admit I was disappointed. I want to make it clear that I am NOT jealous of Lisa at all. NOT AT ALL. My problem is that when I want to hang out with Abby it's like she's doing me a favour to spend 2 hours driving around barely talking to me cause the music is loud and I don't want to get on her nerves (I'll get to that). Abby is spending a ton of time with Lisa, and almost everytime I see her she mentions "We were at Jody and Lisa's house until 4 am" or "Lisa and I are going to do the bake sale together at Christmas" or something. I honestly don't remember the last time that I spent that much time with Abby. I usually get 2 hours every week and a half to two weeks.

When I was out camping, I got a key cut so that Abby could come check on Pickles and Meeko and make sure they had enough water. The apartment gets really hot and the water from their dish evaporates quickly. I left the cats on Saturday AM but someone needed to check them that night. I guess Abby had gone to Jody and Cameron's on Friday and stayed until 4am and then went to work at 10am. And Abby was too tired to walk upstairs, put water in the cat dish and make sure they had food. She didn't. Chris and I got home, and the cats dishes were dry, the food bowl was empty and the litter hadn't been cleaned. The cats were thirsty and went right for the bowls when I filled them. For whatever reason the cats won't drink out of a regular dish, but just the little stainless steel ones. So Abby says to me on the phone, when I tell her that "Your cats will just have to learn to not be so fussy." ...They're CATS! That's what they do. Bah.

The last post about me and Abby in this blog was due to Abby's (then) recent cruelness towards me. I couldn't figure out what I'd done to her to piss her off but for whatever reason, for several weeks, Abby had been rather mean to me. I got so upset about the whole thing, and that day I called her on it, over MSN (I hate confrontation...MSN was easier than by phone or in person). First she said she wasn't being mean and that I was actually being rude to her. I asked for an example several times, thinking I had been careless with her feelings, but she failed to give me any example at all. Then, she switched tactics and said the reason she was being so mean to me was because I seemed like I was in a rut and that pissed her off and caused her to lose her temper with me. WTF? Absolutely. This makes me crazy because when Abby was having her depression and felt like she was dead inside, I was there for her. I made time for her, talked to her, called her, tried to get her to come out and DO something. She cried on my shoulder, asked me for advice, and when she needed space I gave it to her. So for her to decide that when I'm needing that same sort of friendship, the answer is to not spend time with me, and when she does, to be a complete bitch.

Sometimes she says things and I don't think she realizes completely that what she's saying is insulting. Like, when she makes comments about Acadians. That really hurts my feelings, and she tries to get around the comments by saying "Yeah but you're not hardcore Acadian". I'll admit that not all Acadian customs (like some of the music) are my favourite, but they are part of my heritage, and so I appriciate them on that level. Screaming "f#$%ing Acadians" in the middle of traffic while the Acadian Games were in town was not bright.

I tried to call Abby, on Friday, because I have huge news (which I'll post about once I have it in my hands) and she was no where to be found. Didn't return my calls either.

Today I will give her a call, arrange to pick up my things from her either today (if they end up going to the store) or tomorrow after I'm done work. Pick up my spare key, my CD's before any more of them get chucked out the window.

There is no way for me to describe the disappointment I feel about this whole situation. I feel like I can't talk to Abby about it directly either. I've spoken to Terri about it because she went through something similar with Juel a few years ago. Terri could relate, and she felt bad that I'm having to deal with this. She gave me some good advice, and I already had an idea that that's what I was going to have to do.

The great thing is, I'll be able to see Brandy, Craig, the boys and all the critters a lot more. That's where I was yesterday. Well, after the parade I did yesterday. Had a BBQ at Brandy's, spent time with her and the family, got to hold their new bird Murphy. I forget what he is, but it's some sort of tropical bird for sure. He's bright green, with yellow and orange on his stomach and a grey head. Gorgeous bird. He bit me a few times but nothing serious.

Oh and Keith and I have sort of come to terms with things, and we'll probably hang out when he's back (and not at school/working). I'm going to see if I can't get him a job here at the station. I need some new friends. Get out of the house. Stop subjecting myself to this kind of heartache.