Just Like a Muse to Me

Hard at work or hardly working? Ah, my job is so fun that when I'm on the air it doesn't feel much like work, it's fun.

Lately, I've been feeling really burnt out from work. Everytime something happens I get blamed for it, whether or not it happens to be my fault. Happened yesterday, actually. The neighbouring town was having water supply issues and had issued a boil order. It was lifted on Friday around mid-morning. So, my boss had me re-record one of the commercials and insert it several times to let people know it had been cancelled and it was safe to drink the water. On Sunday, a different spot ran saying the boil order was in effect. So, guess who got blamed? This time I didn't let myself take the fall. I told him that he asked me to record the cancellation into a certain file, and that he was in the back, so I assumed he was either deleteing or ending the other commercial. At any rate, it wasn't my fault. He pretended to remember "Ohh yeah...the other spot". Mmmhm.

I'm a little bit hurt by something a friend said to me the other day. I don't want to get into the details but the person thinks my job is pointless and stupid. It hurts, I will admit, and I don't think I'm being overly sensitive about that. No, I don't have a job saving lives but my work does have it's importance. I read the news, I let people know what's going on in our area. I keep them up to date on community events. We provide other services that people find useful. Yes, there is that element of playfullness as well, where I gossip, talk about music and movies, play music. But I don't sit on my butt doing nothing all morning. I work hard at what I do. What blows me away is that this friend said several months ago when some part time work at the station opened up, that they were confident they could do the job and it would be fun.

I think people often downplay what radio announcers do. I'd like to see some of my critics who think I do nothing to come in at 5am, and work til 1 and do everything I do as well or better. Try talking to an audience of at least 10,000 at any given time. You can't see them, but they're there and they listen.

Oh well. On the sickness front, I'm still under the weather. Just really tired all the time, my sinuses are still acting up. The doctor gave me some Nasonex and I'm suppose to come back next month. I also have to do a year in review. I did one last year without him asking. I thought it would help me to feel about the year gone by and the year ahead of me.

I feel really lost and I'm not sure what I should do. The doctor asked me what my goals are and I couldn't give him a good answer. Guess that happens when you get into a rut, a routine like this, and you just focus on getting through the day without yelling at someone.

I've been working on my website some, on another blog I have that's less about me, more about the world. Helps me to feel a little less selfish after writing in this one.

Keith and I aren't really speaking, but we're communicating via his website a bit more. It's not tense. I let him know about World AIDS Day and Operation Red Nose. Tara got on my back about talking to him, and I told her to butt out, Keith told her the same, then Brandy threw her 2 cents in about Tara being in love with Keith. Which she didn't deny, then made some comment like "I guess that's what I get for caring and not freaking out at Keith". Yes. I freaked out at Keith, and I had good reason, and it was none of her damn business, and I told her that. She apologized, Keith and I accepted. And then Marie-Claude told her to back off because she wasn't Keith's girlfriend. It was like a mini-internet-chat-soap-opera!

Anyways, break is over. Better get back to my "stupid and pointless" job...so I'll leave you with this: