I Just Can't Get You Out of My Head

Better times, in that photograph. Keith started out so friendly, chipper and nice. I guess that's what people do when they want to date you. They put up this false front, where you don't really get an accurate picture of who they are. Not me. I try to act like myself, and save for perhaps sensoring some of my humour (never know who you could offend) I'm me when I meet someone. I'm the same person I was when I met Keith. But he's different, changed. Relaxed? Isn't so concerned with me ditching him?

I want him to be himself, but it's just such a drastic change. He's so moody lately, and I feel like he's playing head games with me. He says he isn't acting any differently, but how many people can relfect upon themselves and recognize that? Even I can't do that.

He was acting incredibly odd yesterday. We went out to eat, he was fairly silent except to complain about his college course load. It's college though, and he chose a medical field so he must have had some idea that it was going to be difficult. Then, we talked about how he's going to be tranfered to a different cop-shop that's further away and he's going to be working their Saturday afternoon. That was fine, I knew he was going to be working there every other Saturday for the next while. Then...THEN...he informs me that after he gets home (and asssuming he's there for a full shift, and he said he's going in after lunch, he wouldn't be finished until around 8pm, and it's a 2 hour drive back so he'd be home at 10p) he's going to watch a movie with one of his friends. I can't remember how he slipped it in there that this friend was a chick. But I wasn't exactly impressed. No, we aren't dating, but for someone who's interested in persuing that avenue...seems a wee bit strange that he would be at a girls house late at night. I'm not a jealous person, and I don't think I'm jealous but more suspicious. I get this sneaking feeling that he's punishing me for asking for some time to myself during the week. Maybe not consciously, but on some level.

Keith insists that everything is fine, that he hasn't noticed he's acting different. He thinks I've imagined the entire senario. But when I called Brandy last night and talked to her about it, she agreed with me completely. Hell, he didn't even give me a hug and he usually does before I head inside after we hang out.

I hate head games. If he doesn't like me, that's fine. But I think I deserve to know that he's moving on.



On a brighter note, we got 4 new computers at work yesterday. Some fairly decent IBM's with flatpanels, and new periferals to replace the aged Compaq's we had from 2000. Mine is one of the new ones, and Steve was clearly using it last night. I'm not impressed with that, just because he's rather distructive on a PC. If it breaks, I'm going to break him. I do programming on that PC. Oh he will feel my rath for sure.

In girly issues, this bra I bought in Bathurst is pure evil. Plain and simple. I feel like I'm wearing a bear trap every time I put it on. I'm going to be giving in and getting a sports bra and only wearing this one when I must. Normally when I get home, I take off the bra and go "aaah" but now I tear the damn thing off as soon as I get inside the door and hurl it at the laundry basket, cursing it's very creation. Damn Daisyfresh. Damn them to hell. Hmm, I wonder if they have a website, I should go send them a little comment about their product.